Life is all about change. It's about figuring out what works and what doesn't and giving yourself not only the space, but permission to make the changes that can bring about real change in your life. Just make sure it is change for the better.
Sometimes the things that need changing are the people in your life. Just because someone has been a good friend for a long time doesn't mean you need to keep them in your life forever. That's a lesson that was hard for me to learn, but learn it I have. The last month or so, I've cut a lot of people out of my life. Something that I have been trying to do to one degree or another for years and almost the second I did it, my life got a great deal better. It was as if a giant weight had been removed from my shoulders. So, if someone is holding you back, tearing you down, no matter who it is. No matter how close you used to be with them, just remove them from your life. You'll be happier for it. Trust me! The gang tries to keep up the vampire hunting while the city is in lockdown due to the ongoing war between the US and Ares.
Figuring out a schedule can be a pain in the ass. When you run your own life and have no actual boss, every choice you make is your own, but also have to make sure you get enough done, but don't burn yourself out.
I have a tendency to overwork myself until I burn out and then go weeks if not months doing almost nothing. This is not productive or useful in the least. I need to find a way to make a schedule for myself that is sustainable. That will advice me in my goals without crushing my spirit. It's just a matter of give and take. A matter of finding out the right mixture of fun and work. Of paid work and passion work. Of isolation and socialization. Life is a juggling act. It's the cost of freedom from a regular job and I wouldn't have it any other way. So I have grand plans, the grandest plans this world has ever known! I'mma watch four movies in the theaters over the weekend. Starting today. Now, I know, I know your jealous, but it's okay. You'll find your happiness somewhere, I honestly believe that.
Okay, Okay, I know I'm being a bit much, but it has honestly been a long long time since I've been truly happy. I would wake up and just walk around for a while, trying to convince myself that things were going to get better, but I didn't really believe it, not till I made these plans and found that I was actually excited. I was actually looking forward to it. After that, it was like a flood gate opened and everything was more enjoyable. I feel alive for the first time in over a year and a half. Life is good! I helped film some of the interviews. It was a great time hanging around such talented artists! Life can be good. It's been a long time since I could see that. A long time since I woke up feeling good about life and where I'm at in my life. Today was such a day. Cutting out of the people in my life who went out of their way to tear me down every chance they got made a world of difference. Recommitting myself to my art has lightened my mood and put me on the path to being me again.
Sometimes it's hard to cut out people who hurt you, for many reasons. Sometimes it's because they have been in your life for years, other times it's because you know they are going through a hard time and you feel a need to protect them, even if it costs you your own well being, but sometimes you have to be selfish and do what's best for yourself. You can't always put everyone else first because after a while you start to lose yourself. It wasn't an easy lesson for me to learn, but it is one that I now take to heart. Life is too short for negativity, you have to surround yourself with positivity, with people who want everyone to succeed and don't see others doing well as threat to themselves. Believe me, it makes a world of difference. |
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