So, life is hard sometimes. Hard, as in, not easy. It's been almost a week now and I've gotten nothing done, well the Christmas Pod, but that had other people that were coming. I couldn't get out of it without admitting to people how I've been feeling. It's a weird feeling, one that I have never felt before.
I have no moral. No will to do anything. Not just work, but also read, watch TV, hang out with friends. I don't want to do anything. It all just seems so hollow. So empty. I can't explain it, except to say, it isn't me. It's not who I have always been, nor who I want to be.
I'm trying to find my way back into world, back to my old self. I guess I just have to take it one day at a time. One task at a time. The last time I felt this way I forced myself to film some skits and film a movie that I still need to edit. But it worked. It made me feel human again.
So that is my goal, to do the work that I've always wanted to do until I enjoy it again. Until I can wake up in the morning and feel joy, like I use to when I was younger. Before the world beat me down. I've always been of the belief that when the world knocks you down, you have to get back up. No matter how hard it is, or how much you want to stay down. You can't let life beat you because there is no second chance. You have to make every day count, even when all you want to do is crawl under the bed and vanish. That is something I am trying to remind myself. A philosophy that I will strive to live by every single day, even more so on the days when I want to do anything but.
Jonathan Gutheinz vents about everything under the sun.