So I've been thinking about going back to doing Jon's Corner once a week, if for no other reason to give me more time to work on other projects. It's been taking up a lot of my time. I do love doing them, but I have an ever growing to-do list.
On another note, I just watched mid-90's and it is the greatest movie ever!
So yesterday was a day spent reading and playing games with friends. It was fun. A much needed break from everything. Every so often you need to take a step back and just blow off steam or you will get lost in the endlessness of it all. Everything just starts to overwhelm you after a while. That's why you need a day off every once in a bluemoon.
I'm torn today from finishing this book, True Indie, or finishing the newest episode of Clean Jeans. The only reason that isn't a no brainier is because when we post them on the weekends they get less views. So the other option is to wait and post it Monday. I don't know, I'll think about it and decide in a bit.
So....where are the last two Jon's Corners? Well, I spent all Thursday working on the shotlist for our Halloween short, but, well, the night went to hell. One man, just one, messed up the whole night. He was watching Thursday night football. Sitting in the middle of our set. To be fair, our set is the middle of the community center, it just tends to be empty. The one night we got everyone together, there was someone there. It threw off the whole night.
My thought was to wait him out and shoot afterwards. A game only lasts so long. I figured we could go to a mini movie theater and shoot something small there. So that's what we did. Only... on the wide camera I forgot to white balance and our audio guy forgot to turn on the mic. Honest mistake for both of us. It was his first time doing audio work and he forgot the mic and recorder had difference on/off switches. As for my mistake, I had just white-balanced my camera and got distracted and forgot to go and make sure the other one was as well. Shit happens and it was just a fun little shoot to kill time till we could finish the real project.
After we finished that some of our actors and crew took off to get some snacks. While they were away the lead male actor just left. So when the football watcher left we could no longer film. It was a blow, kind of got me down. Add to that, we don't know if we want to bring him back since he just left. Which would mean that the few shots we did manage to shoot are no long usable, since he is in them. So today I've been trying to figure out how to correct these issues.
The short won't be out for Halloween, that's all we know for sure so far.
I have no idea what is wrong with me. I'm tired all the time, like all the all the time. I keep trying to wake up but I just get more and more tired. I really don't know what the problem is.
That in large part is why today's video will be so late. I just couldn't stay up last night to film it. I'm trying to fix my life, it's just hard when you don't know what is wrong. I think a large part of it is just an overwhelming feeling of defeat, which is something I've been dealing with for a few years now. I try not to let it get to me, but it is there. It's something I'm struggling with everyday, and I have talked about it on here many times before. This sense that my life hasn't turned out the way I always thought it would. It gets to you. I know it shouldn't, but it does. I go out sometimes and people tell me how creative I am, and how good I am at all this stuff. It makes me feel great, it does, but then I think about how nothing I do comes out right. How I never seem to be able to pick up traction.
So there are two ways to go about it. Give it, or try harder. I'm a try harder guy, it just sucks that my body is fighting against me. Hopefully I can start to get my motivation back up. The more I do the more motivated I feel, I just need to stop feeling so tired, all the damn time.
I would like to start writing these blogs again, to try and connect with the void and anyone out there who is struggling like I am. There is a way through it. We just have to figure it out together.
Jonathan Gutheinz vents about everything under the sun.