So sometimes you have to figure out what you really want in life. Do you want to aim for the stars or do you want to do what is safe and easy? I think that you should shoot for the stars. If you fail at least you can hold your head up high and say that you tried. Otherwise you will spend the rest of your life thinking what if?

I also think that while you aim for your goals you should do anything you can to get experience in your field. I've been thinking a lot about if I should make youtube videos again. Shorts and films are where my true love is but skits can get me behind a camera again and help me gain more experience while I work on my shorts and films.

It's an idea but I'm still thinking. Tomorrow at least I am going to make a skit and hopefully it comes out the way I want it to. Fingers crossed.

As far as podcasts go I'm finding it hard to get everyone together to do all the ones I have going. Managing other people is proving harder than I thought, more so since I can't pay anyone. Hopefully I can get everything back on track soon because I am really excited to start my radio plays.

So I hung out with an old friend that I haven't seen in a year or so, not the same friend as the other day, another long last friend. It was a lot of friend. Once more hanging out with an old friend taught me something that I was missing in my life. Fun.

I have been so hung up on working on everything I've been trying to create that I forgot that I use to have a life. Maybe you can have both. It has been my experience that some of my best ideas have come from the real world and lately I have been hiding from it.

I've been so single minded that I haven't been able to see past Blueroof Productions and every time I step outside to have fun I feel bad, as if I am being lazy or running away from my goals. It has gotten to the point where I have no real life, so maybe I should find a middle ground. Find time to work on my goals, work on everything I am trying to create but still have fun. Still have a life. Maybe just a small one.

So I have been working on pre-production for my murder mystery for some time now and I am moving ever closer to starting production itself. I have to admit I am nervous. My last few projects have had a lot of problems and I am really trying to learn from them all so as to not repeat past mistakes.

Step one is my crew. For this I am thinking of keeping it small. Only working with people who I know can get the job done and will show up to do the work without complaining. I find more and more that people who say they want to work in film really don't. They like the glamour of it all but get scared when they see how much work it is.

Next up is the cast. This one is harder. On the last project I worked on we used all new actors and it didn't go well. So I am returning to the old ways where I use my trusted actors for most roles and hire outside actors for the other parts. I'm still hoping that Larry can help me out with this part of the process.

Next up is location. This is another part where I'm hoping that Larry can help out with. I've never been the best at being a producer but it is something I am trying to learn more about. Today's goals are making the character sides for the auditions.

When it comes to writing I think that characters are the most important part of the story. A good character can take you out of the problems of your life and gets you lost in theirs. It's important to build real people into your story and follow them on their path even if it takes you away from the plot of your story.

I find that just like no battle plan survives the enemy no outline survives the pen. If you do it right. Once you start writing, if you follow the character instead of the plot than you will find yourself go in the most unexpected paths. A lot of the time you find that the story that the characters need to tell is far different than the one you want to tell and it is by far the most important of the two.

Sometimes you can't help but feel like you have all the time in the world, other times you feel like you are staring down the clock and you just know that you are going to blink first. I have started to come to grips with this and it is my view that you should do what makes you happy. Write what you want to write. Create what you would want to watch. That is what I think the trick to being happy and creative is.

With that in mind let's get to work on creating something impressive Blueroof Nation.

So I spent today hanging out with an old friend who is also a film maker. We got to talking about what he has been up to and I'm amazed at how well he is doing. Not a slam in anyway. I'm happy for the guy. He has people buying his scripts, he's engaged and most of all he is happy.

It's weird, he is a member of the first version of Blueroof Productions. Back when I started the company. That version fell apart and I rebuilt. Back then he had no idea what he was doing, he turned to me for help and to show him the ropes. Now I see him have his life together and is well on his way to making it and it gives me hope.

Over the years while I was putting my company back together I changed majors at school and started taking classes to try and advance my career, and while I have met some important people who have taught me so much, mostly other students not really the teachers, I feel that over all I have moved farther away from my goals. I am a great deal less happy and satisfied than I use to be.

He has been writing like a mad man, much in the same way I use to. Whereas I can't bring myself to write no matter how hard I try. It takes so much work and effort for me to create anything anymore and I think a large part of it is due to how unhappy I am with everything around me.

Seeing him again has really showed me just how much school has killed my soul. People in the program who I thought were my friends have started to show their true colors and it hurts even more. I feel like the number of people I can trust and depend on is shrinking every day and that as long as I continue at this school I will never reach my goals or be happy. But that doesn't mean I can't do it, I just have to turn inward and start doing what makes me happy again instead of worrying so much about everyone else or even grades. It killed the art form for me and it is about time I took it back.

It's always great to see old friends doing so well and it is even better when their success can inspire you to work hard towards your dreams. I thank you old friend.