I have no idea what is wrong with me. I'm tired all the time, like all the all the time. I keep trying to wake up but I just get more and more tired. I really don't know what the problem is.
That in large part is why today's video will be so late. I just couldn't stay up last night to film it. I'm trying to fix my life, it's just hard when you don't know what is wrong. I think a large part of it is just an overwhelming feeling of defeat, which is something I've been dealing with for a few years now. I try not to let it get to me, but it is there. It's something I'm struggling with everyday, and I have talked about it on here many times before. This sense that my life hasn't turned out the way I always thought it would. It gets to you. I know it shouldn't, but it does. I go out sometimes and people tell me how creative I am, and how good I am at all this stuff. It makes me feel great, it does, but then I think about how nothing I do comes out right. How I never seem to be able to pick up traction.
So there are two ways to go about it. Give it, or try harder. I'm a try harder guy, it just sucks that my body is fighting against me. Hopefully I can start to get my motivation back up. The more I do the more motivated I feel, I just need to stop feeling so tired, all the damn time.
I would like to start writing these blogs again, to try and connect with the void and anyone out there who is struggling like I am. There is a way through it. We just have to figure it out together.
Jonathan Gutheinz vents about everything under the sun.