So I spent today hanging out with an old friend who is also a film maker. We got to talking about what he has been up to and I'm amazed at how well he is doing. Not a slam in anyway. I'm happy for the guy. He has people buying his scripts, he's engaged and most of all he is happy.
It's weird, he is a member of the first version of Blueroof Productions. Back when I started the company. That version fell apart and I rebuilt. Back then he had no idea what he was doing, he turned to me for help and to show him the ropes. Now I see him have his life together and is well on his way to making it and it gives me hope.
Over the years while I was putting my company back together I changed majors at school and started taking classes to try and advance my career, and while I have met some important people who have taught me so much, mostly other students not really the teachers, I feel that over all I have moved farther away from my goals. I am a great deal less happy and satisfied than I use to be.
He has been writing like a mad man, much in the same way I use to. Whereas I can't bring myself to write no matter how hard I try. It takes so much work and effort for me to create anything anymore and I think a large part of it is due to how unhappy I am with everything around me.
Seeing him again has really showed me just how much school has killed my soul. People in the program who I thought were my friends have started to show their true colors and it hurts even more. I feel like the number of people I can trust and depend on is shrinking every day and that as long as I continue at this school I will never reach my goals or be happy. But that doesn't mean I can't do it, I just have to turn inward and start doing what makes me happy again instead of worrying so much about everyone else or even grades. It killed the art form for me and it is about time I took it back.
It's always great to see old friends doing so well and it is even better when their success can inspire you to work hard towards your dreams. I thank you old friend.
Jonathan Gutheinz vents about everything under the sun.