This time in isolation has not been kind to me. It's not the first time I've been kept apart from the rest of the world. When I first moved to Texas and dropped out of high school to be home schooled, I was in complete isolation. No friends, no one to talk to other than my family. It was lonely on a scale that you could never hope to understand.
And yet, so much of who I am today was formed in that time. My interests, the stories I'm still telling to this day. My sense of independence. I was better for that time alone. Much better. The truth can't be said for this time. I'm losing my mind. Slowly going crazy as I waste away in the house. Spending more time thinking about what I want from life than going for it. I'm not as isolated as I was back then. I have friends that I talk to daily. Even see from time to time. So why is this time so much worse? If I had an answer to that, maybe I wouldn't be so lost right now. I guess the only thing I can do, any of us can do, is take it day by day. Try to make today better than yesterday. Make tomorrow better than today. It's not much, but it's all we have. So make the most of it, that's what I'm going to attempt to do. Will I succeed? Who knows, only tomorrow can tell.
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AuthorJonathan Gutheinz vents about everything under the sun. Archives
June 2024
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