Sometimes when I wake up I'm in a panic, my mind racing over all of my failures. All the things I should have been, all the things my life should have been, if only I was better, smarter, harder working. I spend hours upon hours with my eyes glued opened, my mind telling me all the ways that I suck.
It takes a long time to relax and get my head on right, sometimes I go whole days without ever feeling like myself. It's a scary thing to feel, to live through. I just hope each day that I can be myself again. Feel normal again like I did when I was younger and had my whole life ahead of me. I was going to be somebody. Do something great. Have a family. Not me nearing 30, living at home and struggling to even wake up in the morning.
Life takes weird turns and we all just have to figure out ways to deal with it. I hope one day I can figure it all out. But I guess like everything in life we just have to take it one day at a time. Here is to today.
Jonathan Gutheinz vents about everything under the sun.