Jonathan vs the Sun

I'm here to tell I'm here to tell you that the sun is not our friend. I repeat, not our friend. Have you ever noticed how the longer you're under the sun the more tired you are? The more red your skin turns and the more it hurts at the slightest touch? It is because the sun has decided to kill us all! It pretends to sit in his throne out there in space, giving us warmth and light but it is all a trick. A  cruel evil trick designed to lull us into a false sense of security. Don't be fooled by that trusting face, just looking into it's bright eyes will cost your sight! See how evil the sun is? Causing us to go blind just because we dare to look upon its face? We must stop the sun no matter the cost? Whose with me?