Panic. A feeling that seeks to overwhelm me day in and day out. No matter what I do it comes for me. Distractions are meaningless. They do nothing to move me away from this despair. Nothing seems to help. It is truly a living nightmare. How do I escape this shadowy phantom that haunts my every waking moment. The phantom that has dragged me down and left me hallowed out. That turned my 4 hours of sleep into 9 or 10? Will I ever be free.
God I hope so. I have dreams that I need to fulfill. I have goals that I have yet to meet. My tasks are not yet done. Many have yet to even start. I need to grit my teeth and pull myself out of this hole. No matter how hard it is, for that is what life is all about. Fighting against everything that stands in your way and making the life that you want out of sheer force of will.
Or at least that is what I tell myself. Am I right? Am I wrong? Who the hell knows, only time will tell.
Jonathan Gutheinz vents about everything under the sun.