Too Much Time to Think

The world is changing. Faster and faster. It takes everything we have just to hold on. Where it'll stop, no one knows. Within little more than a week, all of our lives have changed. Possibly forever. Some people go about their day to day as if nothing has happened, but those people are far and few between. 

The rest of us watch on with baited breath, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Where will this all end? What will the world look like when it is done? The truth is, no one knows. How can they? None of us have ever lived through something like this before. Not on this scale. Not where the government shuts everything down. Closing stores, disrupting lives. Blocking evictions, because they are coming. Make no mistake, they are coming. If not now, than when this is all over. 

As I said, nothing will ever be the same. For course their is the health risk, as an asthmatic and the son of another, I dread catching this, but that's not all I worry about. If you listen to Clean Jeans, or have read past blogs, or even know me, you know I grew up poor, and by grew up I mean I'm still poor. And by poor I mean no money. Less money than you think. 

Both of those facts are starting to weight heavily on my mind. If we make it through this, which I feel like we will. This won't kill us. It won't defeat us, but it will hurt us. Our numbers will plummet. And I can't help but wonder if the systems we live in will pick up the slack and finish the job?

That's very doom and gloom, I apologize. It's just what's been on my mind. I free lance and do Uber on the side, I've stopped doing that. My mother hasn't been able to stop going to work. More and more people I know are being forced from their jobs, while one of my best friends is being forced into crazy overtime on the front lines as a nurse. 

I've spent my whole life thinking there was time for things. Making it, starting a family. Traveling. Catching up with friends. Maybe there isn't as much time as I thought. Maybe when this is all over, we should all start to focus more on what matters. The people around us. Having new experiences. Learning, growing. Chasing our dreams instead of wasting away on someone else's. 

We don't have to wait until this passes to start taking advantage of all life has to offer. To reconnect with old friends. To build something for ourselves. When this is all said and done the world will be a very different place, we can't change that, but maybe, just maybe, we can help decide what it will look like when it's all said and done.